My name is Tanya I have had a full life so far and I am sure there is more to come! I will tell you a little about me. I am a 32-year-old bible believing Christian I love the Lord with all my heart and I try my best to do things to please him. I do not always seceded in that though, my sin nature gets a hold of me and after awhile I find myself on my knees asking the Lord to forgive me. He does, My God is an awesome God and he loves me so much he will always forgive me, I am so thankful that I know Jesus as my savior and he loves me no matter what I do and that I can never loss my salvation, once saved always saved!
Jesus came into my life when I was 17 years old a few months after I gave birth to my first son Ruben, who I place in a adoptive home it is a open adoption. This at the time was the hardest thing I had done and that is pretty big for a 17 year old. There are many times I think back and wish I did not do this but it was in Gods plan to happen that way.
The summer after he was born, I asked Jesus into my heart, I asked Jesus to save me, in July of 1996. However, I was left alone a newborn Christian without a guide, so my sinful nature got the better of me.
After time in the “world” in 1998, I met my husband, and let me tell you we did not meet in the best way, that is a whole other story. God meant it for good and worked it out that we would get married. On June 7th, 2002 Todd and I got married, at the time our families become one, I had a daughter Maya for a previous marriage (yes I had been married before that is part of a different story). Todd had been married before too and he brought his 2 sons, Shane and Shawn, and daughter Shannon into our “little” family.
Things were good for a while, then I begun to feel a emptiness that nothing would fill I was sad, I was alone I was depressed. I wanted out I was ready to leave Todd. I would cry a lot. I then realized what was missing God, a church to go to we needed that. So I opened the phone book to find us a church to go to Todd did not want to go, but he went.
After going to it about a month, I wanted to become a member, on the day I was to become a member Todd gave his life to Jesus and asked him to save him, and became a member at the same time.
At this time, we gave it all to the Lord, and found out, we were expecting another child we were all so very excited. We were all happy living for the Lord and feeling so blessed, we had decided to homeschool the children and everything was going great!
When I was about 8 weeks along I started to bleed, I am talking full force bleeding not little spotting, I was bleeding more then when I would have my cycle, we thought for sure we had lost the baby. We went to the ER and we saw the most beautiful little heart beat yet I was still bleeding. I was sent to a Perinatologist I found out I had a large subchorionic hemorrhage, and the baby had a 50/50 chance. I was on bed rest and I was still bleeding a lot!
I bleed off and on then at 22 weeks my water broke, I was out on hospital bed rest and I was gave steroid injection to help develop Elijahs lungs. I was not in a hospital that was ready for this young of preemies it was ready for preemies 28 weeks and father along. To this day I will not understand why I was out in this hospital but that is how it was. A week to the day after my water had broke, Elijah was born into my hands my littlest baby boy, he tried to wrap his little hand around Todds finger, he was trying his hardest to breath. The hospital just did not have what it needed to help him, so my son went for my hands to Jesus’ hands moments after his birth. This was an amazing things I was so hurt and in so much pain and so sad, and at the same time I had peace. A peace knowing that my son had no more pain, knowing he was with the Lord knowing I will see him again someday. I love and miss Elijah so very much, but I will see him again. I miss him and thinking of him daily.
Life went on we had more children we moved from New Mexico to Ohio and things changed again as I post and write about my life I may open up and tell more.
